Later today the phone line will be disconnected and my year in France will be nearly at an end. So this is my last post from France.
There will be more posts on the blog to come when I return to the UK. I want to sum up the year and also fill in a few of the gaps - thoughts I have jotted down in notebooks and on my computer, but never got round to posting here.
I have a busy two days of packing and cleaning, but I feel that I've ended my year on a good note and I am ready to return to the UK.
On Tuesday evening we were taken out for dinner by a French couple who have become good friends. Although I have been plagued by wildly ambivalent feelings about our return, during the meal I thought "I really don't want to go back" and I suddenly felt very much at ease and ready to return.
I guess one of the feelings that had plagued me was a nagging doubt that I wasn't entirely comfortable in France. On Tuesday night that doubt evaporated.
I felt that I would be okay if I didn't go back to the UK - that I could live in either place. I'm not sure I can explain these feelings any more, but it has given me a real sense of peace.
One final thing I want to clear up before I log off is about the NHS and health care in Europe. I've noticed that a few people in the USA have found this blog via a web search - perhaps in response to the huge debates around health care in their country at the moment.
I am critical of some things about the NHS and have found the French system to be better is some ways. However, I do love the NHS very dearly - as do 99.9% of the British population.
My criticisms of some aspects of the NHS and my involvement with Crohn's and Colitis patient organisations and health care pressure groups in the UK are to make the NHS better - and to keep private health care out of the NHS.
My main grumble is that there is too much emphasis on budgets, internal markets and cost-efficiency in the NHS. I believe health care only works for everyone as a public service not as a business.
Having read accounts from young, middle or working class americans getting ill with Crohn's disease, I know I would probably have died or bankrupted my parents - or both - if I had grown up across the Atlantic.
If I was a US citizen and I had survived, I would be knocking on doors 24/7 arguing for health care reform.
There - I hope that is clear.
Au revoir!
Friday, 14 August 2009
Wednesday, 5 August 2009
Au revoir to friends
These last two weeks are about saying goodbye to our year in France and starting to focus on resuming life in the UK.
Yesterday I had conversations with an insurance broker, a very helpful BT call centre person (who I’m sure kept putting me on hold to eat their lunch) and someone in the overseas pensions office in Newcastle.
I’d forgotten how very easy it is to speak to people in English. I’m hoping everything is sorted out. Not surprisingly, buying a telephone line was much easier than cancelling our old one last year.
Last week we spend two excellent days with French friends we have made during the year. On Wednesday we drove west along the coast to see the American cemetery at Colleville-sur-mer, the Pointe du Hoc and Utah beach – so completing our D-Day visits.
We ended up at the old port of St Vaast la Hougue, once an important strategic naval base, somewhere we had really wanted to visit all year. Afterwards, we were invited back for dinner.
On Friday, another couple took us for a drive round the hilly region of Suisse Normande. Again, this was somewhere we were keen to see, but our reliance on public transport made difficult.
It was nice to tick these places off our ‘must see’ list, but the days out were a perfect opportunity to say “au revoir” to friends - and to invite them to visit us in Brighton.
The fact that we have met so many French people and made friends with some of them is a real bonus. We have learned so much more about France, its culture and its history because we have spent time with an interesting cross-section of French society.
It is said that it takes time to get to know French people. I think that’s probably true. The different stages and formalities are different to what I’m used to. I’m sure also, that I have done or said the wrong thing at the wrong time and that may be why some acquaintances did not turn into friends – or perhaps they just didn’t like me!
One obvious stage is the “tutoyer” stage, when it is agreed to used the informal “tu” form of saying “you”, rather than the formal “vous”. To use “tu” without this agreement can be seen as a huge insult. To be asked “Et on se tutoyie ?” - how about if we use "tu" with one another? – is a significant signpost on the route to friendship.
Of, course, joining many groups gives you the automatic right to “tutoyer” – like amongst football fans, students and in political groups. I guess it would be strange or even offensive to use “vous” in such situations.
If this process towards friendship is complex in terms of language, at least there is a code. The non-verbal cues and behaviours remain quite unclear to me. But I think I’ve done okay.
A smile, a firm handshake, looking people in the eye, waiting to sit down until you’re told to, not eating until others do, never refusing an offer of food or drink and always offering to reciprocate – these things seem to work in all cultures.
Yesterday I had conversations with an insurance broker, a very helpful BT call centre person (who I’m sure kept putting me on hold to eat their lunch) and someone in the overseas pensions office in Newcastle.
I’d forgotten how very easy it is to speak to people in English. I’m hoping everything is sorted out. Not surprisingly, buying a telephone line was much easier than cancelling our old one last year.
Last week we spend two excellent days with French friends we have made during the year. On Wednesday we drove west along the coast to see the American cemetery at Colleville-sur-mer, the Pointe du Hoc and Utah beach – so completing our D-Day visits.
We ended up at the old port of St Vaast la Hougue, once an important strategic naval base, somewhere we had really wanted to visit all year. Afterwards, we were invited back for dinner.
On Friday, another couple took us for a drive round the hilly region of Suisse Normande. Again, this was somewhere we were keen to see, but our reliance on public transport made difficult.
It was nice to tick these places off our ‘must see’ list, but the days out were a perfect opportunity to say “au revoir” to friends - and to invite them to visit us in Brighton.
The fact that we have met so many French people and made friends with some of them is a real bonus. We have learned so much more about France, its culture and its history because we have spent time with an interesting cross-section of French society.
It is said that it takes time to get to know French people. I think that’s probably true. The different stages and formalities are different to what I’m used to. I’m sure also, that I have done or said the wrong thing at the wrong time and that may be why some acquaintances did not turn into friends – or perhaps they just didn’t like me!
One obvious stage is the “tutoyer” stage, when it is agreed to used the informal “tu” form of saying “you”, rather than the formal “vous”. To use “tu” without this agreement can be seen as a huge insult. To be asked “Et on se tutoyie ?” - how about if we use "tu" with one another? – is a significant signpost on the route to friendship.
Of, course, joining many groups gives you the automatic right to “tutoyer” – like amongst football fans, students and in political groups. I guess it would be strange or even offensive to use “vous” in such situations.
If this process towards friendship is complex in terms of language, at least there is a code. The non-verbal cues and behaviours remain quite unclear to me. But I think I’ve done okay.
A smile, a firm handshake, looking people in the eye, waiting to sit down until you’re told to, not eating until others do, never refusing an offer of food or drink and always offering to reciprocate – these things seem to work in all cultures.
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